My coming out story

Share your coming out stories with us and tell us what went well and what didn't.
Posts: 28
Joined: 21 Aug 2009, 10:31
Orientation: Gay
First Name: Valio
Location: Sofia, Bulgaria

My coming out story

Postby vivo2 » 13 Jul 2012, 12:14

Hey guys,

I haven't been on this forum for a lot of time. But since I came out to my parents a few days ago, I've really wanted to share it with you.

So I'll start my story from last summer when I found a friend here on Chadz. (I'll let him introduce himself if he wants to). He's from the States and we talk on skype and facebook. He helped me come out to one of my best friends then. It was the first coming out in my life. The guy I came out to was ok. And by the way he is 18 and I'm 16 now. He said that he's fine with it. We are still very good friends.

A few months later (in October) I found another gay guy. His name is Alex and he's a year older than me (17). So we have become like best friends since then. After I found him I came out to a few straight friends, then I came out to some more friends (this time at school and actually most of my friends are girls). And now I have told (almost) everybody who is my friend and all of them ok with it. And by the way, I don't hide that I'm gay a t school. Not everybody like that but I don't really care what others think.

So... I went to my first gay pride almost two weeks ago. It was like the best experience ever - so many LGBT gathered at one place! And it was really cool. My best friends came with me (and all are straight except for Alex) and we had a really great time there. I met a few girls and a really cute guy (really, really cute! :)))

And then one night last week... We were on a holiday to the sea and we were in a restaurant (my parents and my sister - she's 10). I can't remember how the topic changed, I just remember my mother saying something like (she said it in a joking way) "Well, you can't date guys. Only girls.".
And I said "Mom, don't you know that sexual orientation is not a choice? You are born this way."
And then my father asked "And you are...?"
I have been thinking about coming out to them for a long time. I was even thinking about doing it the same night. So when he asked me this, I said with confidience "I am gay".
It was a shock to my father. My mom said something like "I told you I suspected something".
So after a few minutes we went to the hotel and my father started throwing things and he was yelling something like "Your whole generation is like that...Freaks!"
My mom asked me to leave the room so she could talk to him. She hugged me and said that she was all right with it and that she loved me.
The next day I asked her to watch "Prayers for Bobby" with me. She cried a lot. My father didn't watch but he talked to me later. He said that being gay is stupid and disgusting and that I'm going to ruin my life if I continue living like that. And I just kept telling him that it's not a choice and that I'm going to be ok (I have A's in all subjects and I do a lot of extracurriculars). He didnt believe me.
On the next day my mom told me that i must be "confused" and that I am not gay. We talked again.
So now a week later... I think they're starting to accept it. It was a really hard week for me. But I have some great friends who support me and I'm really thankful for them.

Last night my mom went furious because I wanted to remove the little hair I have between my eyebrows (for some of you may sound silly). And she started yelling at me and she told me that if I do it she's going to beat me because I'm not a girl and this is something only girls do. Then after a while she started crying. She said that she was trying to deal with it (the fact I'm gay) but I was forcing her or something like that and that I should stop doing things like that...
And I was really upset, too last night. But I can't stop taking care of my face (cause I want to look good) just because of her.
Bulgaria is a really homophobic country with old patriarchal values and for example if you're a guy,,,you should act like one. You can't be feminine. I really don't get.

After I came out to my parents I feel much better. It's something I wanted to do for a really long time and I'm glad I had the courage to do it. And if you want to do it... just be careful, ok?

Oh, I forgot to mention - two days after I came out my father took my iPod, my laptop and my PC. He said that I'm grounded and that "you don't know what you have until you loose it".
So now a week later I have my PC back but not my iPod and laptop.

I really want to hear what you think, guys (and girls :P), and what are your advices.
Thanks for reading.

Young. Dope. Proud.

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Posts: 10521
Joined: 03 May 2010, 12:37
Orientation: Gay
First Name: Curtis
Location: Occupied U.S.A, Maine

Re: My coming out story

Postby RainbowPower » 14 Jul 2012, 10:40

Hey Valio, thanks for posting this story for us!

It was inspiring how you preserved and had the courage to come out despite the hostility you faced.Though it was challenging you stared your parents down and went about making who you felt on the inside the way you look on the out.You should be proud of yourself for doing those things because many people cannot continue to do such things under fire. Congrats dude! :-bd

Questions, concerns, complaints? PM me anytime, my inbox is always open.

To the ends of the earth, I will be here until the revolution is through.

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Posts: 1284
Joined: 05 Nov 2012, 10:04
Orientation: Gay
First Name: Will
Location: Australia

Re: My coming out story

Postby wilster » 07 Nov 2012, 03:17

Yeah I read that an i just cried
so its just not me, I really wish I wasnt gay it hurts my dad so much and I love him so much, it just hurts :(( . It really does. I dn what to do, I even had a fake gf for a while but it was like kissing my mum and I hurt her I told her I loved her when I didn't um yeh I didn't come out mum just found stuff on my history (porn) and told dad and dad went crazy :(( .
i dn wanna talk bout that but yeh they went and told the preist (Im Catholic) and yeh dw.
The thing is I play sports an stuff and Im not girly, its just that when I was 12 and my mates were checking out girls, I was like checking out them.
I have got a bf his 16(I love him so so much) and his rents are really really cool and really nice, but yeh he gets upset cause I wont hold his hand when we go out. Because there is still a bit of me that thinks its wrong.
My best mate is gay and really out and Ive got some other gay mates but yeh besides the gay thing we have nothing in common well my best mate loves music he sings I play guitar.
Anyways thats why Im here :)

Posts: 28
Joined: 21 Aug 2009, 10:31
Orientation: Gay
First Name: Valio
Location: Sofia, Bulgaria

Re: My coming out story

Postby vivo2 » 04 Dec 2012, 18:30

Yeah...coming out to parents can be really...tough. But my parents are getting used to it already. It's been four months since I told them and yeah...theyre fine. They dont talk about it though.

Oh and you have a boyfriend! Cool! I had a boyfriend this summer but we broke up cause we were in a long-distance relationship (different cities) and...well, cause I wasn't strong enough and he needed someone to be stronger than him. Anyways, that was 3 months ago and now I have changed.

And hey Will if you want to talk more you can message me.
Just one last thing - you really shouldn't be afraid to hold your boyfriend's hand in public. There's nothing wrong. But it's totally up to you. Someday, soon enough, you'll find the courage and you'll take his hand in the street. :))
Young. Dope. Proud.

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Posts: 1
Joined: 13 Jan 2016, 02:36
First Name: Eliza

Re: My coming out story

Postby elizasusan84 » 13 Jan 2016, 02:52

Thanks for share such kind of informative article that helps a lot.
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